I'm Walking Away...

Just over three years ago, I became involved in the rescue community, and finally found what my life had been missing for so long…a purpose.  After that very first foster experience (Heidi and the barracudas), I finally realized what I had been put on this earth to do.  I fostered many times over the last three years.  One of the very best days of my life was foster failing with Ollie.  My heart has been broken so many times (for example, Riley) when my foster moves on to their forever home, but seeing those dogs finally get their forever made it all worth it. 

Unfortunately, all of that is coming to an end.  And I’m walking away.  It’s not a decision I take lightly, and to say I’m devastated is the understatement of the century.  But it’s what has to happen. 

The fact is, the last three times we’ve had fosters for longer than one night, things have happened.  Bad things.  In October, the day Boscoe was adopted, Tucker had his incident.  In December, Simon was adopted, but Tucker had been battling abnormal kidney levels as well as hair loss.  Thankfully a food change righted that.  And now, with our current foster, Tucker has begun to go after Ollie. Last night and this morning, Tucker mounted and began to fight Ollie.  Ollie didn’t immediately submit, so it escalated.  We were able to break each incident up, but it was beyond scary.  Tucker also went after the foster this morning when she got too close to his ball.  She immediately backed down, but that was the end of it for me.  They are all now separated, and unfortunately, our foster is being returned to rescue.

I’m heartbroken.  I’ve NEVER returned a dog to rescue.  I’ve stuck by my fosters, no matter how many blankets they shredded, how many times they had accidents in the house, or how many times I was woken up in the middle of the night.  It’s part of the process.  It’s what I do.  But not anymore.

I feel like I failed.  I feel like I failed Athena (our foster).  I feel like I failed all of the dogs that won’t get to come to our home.  But mostly I feel like I failed my own dogs, for not listening to them when they so clearly said “mama, we don’t like having fosters for more than one night”.  I was blinded by the fact that they are DAMN GOOD foster brothers, and have helped out so many dogs.  But just because they’re good at it, doesn’t mean they enjoy it.  I can’t ignore them any longer.

At this point, I’m not even sure what’s going on between Tucker and Ollie is fixable.  I think it is, and I think with time and work, we can get back to normal.  But I don’t really know… I don’t know if adding a third adult dog shook up the pack dynamic to the point Tucker felt he needed to assert his dominance over Ollie.  I don’t know if it’s a medical issue that hasn’t been diagnosed.  I truly don’t know what’s going on.  What I DO know is we have zero issues when there isn’t a third dog in the house and since the common denominator seems to be fostering, I'm walking away...

I have a call in to the vet, and have emailed a dog trainer, as well as a trusted dog friend.  I WILL get to the bottom of this, and I WILL do what is best for my dogs.  For the time being (and the unforeseeable future), that means no fosters.  None.  Zip, Zero, Zilch.  I’m hoping a foster free home will allow things to go back to normal.  If not, vet visits will be in order and training will be done.  I will do whatever is needed, and will stand by my dogs 100%.  As much as I’ll miss fostering, they come first, and that’s all there is to it.

Having said all this, does NOT mean I’m leaving the rescue world.  I just have to take a different angle.  I will still help run Doghousing,Inc. and will get involved in other ways.  Maybe it’s time to start volunteering at a local shelter, or start transporting.  I’m not sure where I’ll go from here, but I know the options are out there. 

I’m have no doubt I’ll have critics of my decision, and that’s okay.  There’s always drama in rescue anyway, so I’m used to it.  But I feel like it’s necessary to be completely transparent, and to let people know WHY I’m going to be saying no when asked to foster. The bottom line is I must do what’s best for me and for my boys, and I stand firmly by the decision I made today.  

Counting My Blessings...

Yes, I've moved...and yes we've started fostering again...and I'll post on those pups sometime soon, I hope.  But this is something that can't wait.

A couple days ago, my friend and fellow Doghousing admin, Lisa, re-posted a blog (warning, strong language) about the author's dogs being "jerks", and how she would never want it any other way.  That blog really struck a cord with me given the events of this week.  My dogs can definitely be "jerks" and sometimes I question my sanity putting up with them.  But after what happened over the weekend, I'm just fine with them being super "jerks" the rest of their lives.

I guess should start from the beginning.  On Sunday morning, just before Boscoe's meet and greet, Tucker had some sort of neurological episode.  We were all outside, and the three dogs were playing.  Tucker ran up on the deck and froze.  Wouldn't move.  I led him inside, and he was still off.  Eventually he went behind the couch (where he never goes), in front of the front door and laid down.  He wouldn't move.  Wouldn't lift his head when I called his name.  His breathing was shallow and quick.  I tried to pick him up and he was completely limp.

So.  Freaking. Scary

I was in full on panic mode.  My first thought was bloat, but that didn't really seem to make sense.  I called my friend Alicia to come over and help me get him to the vet.  I opened the front door and he finally got up.  It seemed like it was forever, but likely was only a couple of minutes.  He was still out of it, but seemed to be doing better.

She took us to Banfield across the street, and we saw a very nice vet, Dr. Long.  She gave him an exam, tested his vitals, etc. and couldn't find anything immediately wrong.  I described what happened, and she thought he likely had some sort of seizure.  It wasn't a major, Grand Mal seizure, but likely a partial or frontal seizure, which presents itself similar to a human fainting.  Since he had never had an episode like this before, she suggested taking him home, keeping him stress free, and watching him.  Boscoe went home that afternoon, so I was hopeful things would be back to normal.

My parents and brother came over for dinner that afternoon and said he seemed normal, just really tired.  I thought we were in the clear...

That night, after everyone left, things got weird.  And scary. He was agitated and unhappy.  He seemed like he couldn't get comfortable.  He looked at me like he had no idea who I was.  He wouldn't let Ollie anywhere near him or anything he had.  When it was time for bed, he was growling and wouldn't let me near him.  Didn't want to be touched.  Ollie was hiding in the corner, scared.  Insert SUPER panic mode.  I had a total melt down.  I was sure this was the beginning of the end.  Note: I know I pushed him..he's always been a cranky dog when he's tired or not feeling well, and I was being a helicopter mom.  Oops.

I finally just left him alone, cried myself to sleep, and said many many prayers.  At some point, he got up in bed with Ollie and me.  I woke up feeling a little better, but he was still not himself that morning.  I put a call in to the vet.  As the morning went on, he seemed to be doing better, so I went to work.  I got home to two wiggle butts excited to see me.  We went outside, Tucker played with his ball, did his business, etc.  He was still a little weak (had trouble holding his leg up when he was "marking" his territory), but overall seemed to be making progress.  The vet called back that night, and was surprised we were still having issues, but since he was getting better to continue watching him.  Apparently most dogs come out of things fairly quickly, but the effects can last up to a week.  If things didn't get better or got worse, we needed to go see her immediately.  Monday night, he slept by me all night.  I was finally feeling like we were on our way to being better.

Tuesday morning came and we all wanted to be lazy, but we got up and got around.  Typical morning.  I went to work confident things were finally almost normal again.  And I was right!

Tuesday evening, I had my boy back!!

Throw that ball, Mama!!

Words cannot express how happy I was to finally see the light in his eyes again.  He'd been walking around like a zombie for almost two days.  After lots of playtime, he finally curled up next to me an fell asleep on my chest.  Best. Feeling. Ever.

Finally...

Those that know me well, know this boy is my world.  He's the love of my life in dog form.  Tucker changed my life.  He gave me a purpose.  He's been by my side through the demise of an awful relationship... he was there when we had to move back in with my parents...he was there through the absolute worst heartbreak of my life, which eventually led to me finding the love of my life.  He was there through the awful house hunting process, and then became the "man of the house" when we finally moved.  He's my everything.  His little brother worships the ground he walks on.  I just wanted him to be back to himself.  To be nuzzling me every 30 seconds with his spiky ball.  To jump on the ball the minute I make a move to pick it up.  I wanted to be smothered in sloppy kisses, and to have 85 pounds of dog laying on me.  I couldn't be more excited to have that damn spiky ball getting mud all over my white jacket.

This morning (Wednesday), and things seem to finally be back to normal, and I couldn't be happier.  I still plan to take a break from fostering for a while.  TJ moves on Friday, and we need to keep things as stress free as possible.

As I mentioned above, we moved in August to a super cute house in Waldo.  Here are a few pics of my boys enjoying their new digs.   I promise I'll write soon on our first two fosters...

XOXO,
Ashley

Just hanging out on the new deck...

Ollie keeping watch over his kingdom

Tucker and his ball

Taking a walk through the park around the corner

Ollie keeping watch over the front yard

My handsome boy

WHY?!?

The million dollar question...WHY?  I get this question so often when people find out I volunteer in rescue.  Usually I'm quickly able to answer...I love dogs.  I love the gratitude dogs give when they know they've been saved.  I love being able to save them from awful circumstances.  Even though I love every dog I come across, I really don't want to keep them all, like some think.  The feeling of seeing your foster dog in his/her new home is easily one of the best "highs" I've ever experienced.  Rescue is awesome.  The sense of community and family is incredible.

But what happens when love isn't enough? What happens when they aren't saved in time?  How do you keep going when all you see is sadness?

This week rescue has been rough.  Not one day went by I didn't question humanity.   Because there were SO many bad things...I'll only list a few:

1. "loving" foster family/volunteer dumps emaciated, flea ridden, dehydrated, super sick dog back in rescue.  Next day he has surgery...two days later, he has to be helped to Rainbow Bridge because he's in multi- organ failure.
2. same "loving" family ties brother of super sick dog to the dump post at their local humane society in awful shape...he passes none of their temperament tests (who would?!?) and is also helped to Rainbow Bridge when he is deemed unadoptable due to aggression.  The AMAZING rescue that was trying to help the dog above even offered to take him.
3. senior beagle is dumped at the shelter a year after her family "searched for her for months" and was reunited on the news.  Clearly they didn't care like they said they did...
4. dog thieves are going around my hometown are stealing dogs and doing god knows what to them...selling them, breeding them, using them to fight.  About a mile from my house.
5. 3 pound Yorkie is left out in the cold outside the KC Shelter in a kennel with toys and food during an ice storm. (thankfully was found by a rescuer and will soon be up for adoption.
6. a beyond emaciated great dane found his way in to rescue after being surrendered (with coaxing) to Spay & Neuter KC.  Erin's Midwest Animal ResQ will get him healthy and put him up for adoption.

Unfortunately, I could keep going...

So back to my point...WHY?  After a week like this, where I spent my entire Friday at my desk crying, plus an hour at the gym lifting weights and crying.  Why do I keep doing it?  Why endure the heartache and the tears?  I've actually been questioning this a lot this week.  The "people" (I use that term loosely) described above have truly made me question humanity.  I know people can be jerks...but how can you KNOWINGLY hurt another living, breathing creature?  I will NEVER understand it.

I'll be the first to admit...it's usually not THIS bad.  Yes, when it rains it pours.  And yes, there are awful situations, and we rally together to fix them.  But this week has been one thing after another after another.  My heart hurts.  It LITERALLY hurts.  I've cried over dogs I've never met, with people I don't even know.  But that's what rescue does...it connects you to people instantly.

My heart breaks for the Hands, Hearts, and Paws family.  They welcomed Blinkin back in, and were ready to do anything and everything to save his life.  If love alone could have saved him, he would still be here...They were ready to welcome his brother Winchester in to rescue also.  Like I mentioned above, he didn't make it either.  Their former "family" (again used VERY loosely) failed them.  And once again, rescuers were left to pick up the pieces.  Because they were given to the humane society/returned to rescue, legally, nothing can be done.

I wish I could wrap my brain around it...I wish I understood.  But I don't.  These aren't two dogs who have lived a full happy life and are ready to cross the bridge due to old age.  These were two family dogs...one only a year old that lived a life of hell at the hands of a human being.  Those two knew more love in the last few days than they ever knew in the "home" they lived in.

I'm sorry...I'm rambling.  Like I said, I can't wrap my brain around it.  I will never understand it.  But this gets me back to the WHY.  I do this because of shit bag owners that dump their helpless dogs.  I do this because there is NOTHING better than seeing a scared, hungry, confused dog finally come out of his shell and learn to actually be a dog.  I do this because my boys are incredible foster brothers and love showing shelter dogs how great it is to have a home.  I do this because if nothing else, I can love the dog that was tossed aside for a few minutes, hours, days, weeks, etc., and send that dog to the bridge knowing what love is.

Rescue is not for the faint of heart...I've met some of the most incredibly strong people in the two years I've been doing this.  I constantly question my own strength.  It's tough.  It's heartbreaking.  But we keep trudging on.  The dogs need us.  And we need them.  And after AWFUL storms like this...there is ALWAYS good to come of it.  It's hard to see at the time, but I know it's there.

With HHP, their strength and dedication is so admirable.  They have truly come together as a family, and have people all over the country pulling for them.  Blinkin and Winchester did not die in vain.  I have no doubt they are at the bridge together, pain free, having the time of their lives.  And everyone who knew them, and knew of them, will always remember these handsome brothers, and many lives will be saved in their memory.  In fact, I found out tonight, as Blinkin was being helped to the bridge, his foster sister was giving birth to seven happy, healthy pups.  Life goes on...and Blinkin and Winchester will live in all of them.

I guess my point is, I can't really answer the WHY.  It's a calling.  It's a feeling in my gut and in my heart that I just know I am finally doing what I was put on this earth to do.  I know I can't save them all.  I never once thought I could.  I also know I can't change the world...but it's not about that.  It's for that one dog, changing their world.

In Loving Memory of Blinkin and Winchester... 1/31/2014

RIP Sweet Blinkin

Ollie's Adopt-a-Versary

Ollie didn't TECHNICALLY become a part of our family until April 30, but if you ask him, he was home from day one.  I brought him home to foster on April 15, 2012, and he was officially adopted a couple weeks later, after battling a horrible case of kennel cough/pneumonia, and weaseling his way in to my (and his brother's) hearts.  I wrote about how I foster failed last fall.  Six months later, I'm even MORE in love with this little monster than I was then.  I can't believe it's been a year since he entered our lives.

Ollie is one special dog.  I really didn't think I could possibly love another dog like I love Tucker.  Tucker completely stole my heart, and became my heart dog.  People tell me you can only have one true heart dog…but I’m here to tell you, that’s not true.  Ollie has officially become a heart dog and it’s for totally different reasons than Tucker.  I’m now understanding what my mom meant when she said I love you and your brother equally, but for different reasons.

Ollie is a fighter.  He came from unfathomable circumstances.  He was a total mess when he was seized for cruelty and neglect in Kansas City.  He was around 4 months old when he entered the shelter, and weighed what a 10 week old puppy should weigh.  At about 5 months old, when I started fostering him, he weighed only 14 pounds.  He was skin and bones.  He had patches of fur missing.  He had trouble breathing.  He didn’t want to eat or drink.  I really wondered at times if he would make it.  He, however, had different plans.

 Ollie is always happy.  No matter how bad it got, or how bad he felt, his little tail continued to wag.  He was scared of loud noises and wasn’t a fan of being around new people.  Ollie and I bonded so much in those first two weeks.  I was the first person he really trusted and whenever someone new came over, he hid behind me waiting for me to let him know it was okay to meet them.  Once he realized you weren’t going to hurt him, he would settle in for lots of pets and cuddle time.  Nowadays, I can't enter the house with out him screaming (literally) in delight.  He's always so excited to meet new people and is Mr. Social when we are at the dog park.  

He's a true Mama's boy.  Ollie is my shadow.  Wherever I go, he goes.  He starts out every night on his doggie bed on the floor.  At some point during the night, he jumps up (ninja style) and I end up with 75 pounds of dog sucked up next to me.  Once the alarm goes off, he covers my face in kisses.  I can't think of a better way to wake up.

His resilience is amazing.  It doesn't matter what is thrown at him, he faces it with a huge smile on his face and his little booty wiggling  all over the place.  His love for life is contagious, and it's impossible to not be happy when he's around.  His past could easily make him hate people or even hate the world, but he's put it in his past and never looked back.  

In celebration of his Adopt-a-Versary, here are some of Ollie's FAVORITE things:

1.  Chewables.

His Gotcha Day Pig Ear!

You lookin at me?!?

Yeah, I took Tucker's bone, too...so what?!?

2. Snuggles.

With Fosters....

Big Brother....

Or Mama...doesn't matter!

3. Being a Spokes-Doggy for Mama's Organization Doghousing.

Sitting pretty! "Doesn't this make you want to foster for my Mama?!?"

But sometimes he's a slacker and lays down on the job...

And after a long day, he falls asleep next to Gramps.  

Being a Spokes-Doggy is hard work!

4. Boating

"I like this boating thing, Mama!  Is it summer time, yet?!?"

Boating is hard work too!!!

*Note: No champagne was consumed by Ollie*

Ollie, words cannot express what you mean to me.  You're such an amazing, happy dog.  Tucker and I are so lucky to have you in our lives.  This first year has been more than I ever dreamed, and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us.  I love you!!!

Happy Birthday, Tucker!

I can write or talk about fostering and fostering all day long...I love it...I live it.  But when it comes to my own two, words escape me sometimes.  They mean more to me than anything or anyone has ever meant to me.  

Just less than two years ago (March 27), my world was forever changed.  My little blue eyed, black baby came home with me!  Tucker turned two on February 17, and it blows my mind that he has grown up so fast.

I brought home an itty bitty little fur ball.  He quickly turned in to a 75 pound, long legged, monster.  I'll admit, when I brought him home, I had NO idea what I was doing.  I had no idea I wouldn't get a full night's sleep until he was five months old.  I never knew about food allergies, or dog training, or separation anxiety.  And I DEFINITELY didn't know I would fall head over heels in love with a little boy who would never be able to say "I love you too, Mama."

But fall in love I did.  Tucker taught me to always look at the glass half full.  There's not much better in life than a fresh tennis ball or rawhide.  He'll never talk to me...but I know what he's thinking.  He has the most expressive face of any dog I've ever come in to contact with.  He's the biggest love on the planet, and all he wants to do is be close to his people.

He went to the vet for his one year check up in April, and passed with flying colors!  Other than some seasonal and food allergies, he's as healthy as can be!

As I've mentioned before, last July, we became a family of three.  I know it was hard on my boys, as it was hard on me.  Tucker assumed the roll of "man of the house", and wouldn't leave my side for months.  He had to sleep right next to me.  It was as though he was reassuring me, "it's going to be okay mama...we are going to be okay."  

Tucker got to help Grandpa with his deer last fall.  He was one proud guard dog!

In September, I ran my first 10K....I had the CUTEST training buddy!

Tucker got me in to rescue...I knew I wanted to give back, but didn't know how.  At the time I wasn't ready for another dog.  So I started fostering.  I had sent quite a few dogs on to their new lives, and Tucker was a huge part of that.  

Then Tucker and I failed, and we welcomed his little brother Ollie.  We fostered a couple dogs after Ollie adopted us.  He always seems to know just what each dog that he's fostering needs, whether it be cuddle time, play time, or space.  Tucker is such a great foster brother, an even better big brother, and my one and only heart dog.  

I had so much fun celebrating Tucker's birthday with my family!  He got a few toys and treats, and a huge bone from Michael!

 Tucker, you mean more to me than you will ever know and you have taught me so many things.  I love you to the moon and back!  Here's to many more years!

My name is Ashley, and I'm a Foster Failure...

When you start fostering, everyone warns you about the one you won't be able to give up...the one you will "fail" with.  Failure is defined as: 

1.

an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success

2.

nonperformance of something due, required, or expected

This definition seems so negative...but as a foster failure, I can assure you it is the very BEST way to fail.  I've mentioned before about a special little guy who entered our lives...although every foster I've had has touched my heart, this one completely stole it, and refused to let go.  This is Ollie's story...

We'd had a sting of puppies...Levi & Lily, Joe, Barley...and had decided it really was time for a break...side note: in the "foster world" you say you are on a break...but they NEVER last as long as you planned!  Anyway, during this "break" I came across these pictures on the KC Pet Project Facebook Page.  I knew instantly break time was over....

FREEDOM RIDE!!!

Before I could contact the shelter to offer to foster him, I found out he had been rescued by Erin's Midwest Animal ResQ.  One of the fosters for this organization, Lori Beam, had sprung him from doggie jail.  I immediately emailed the awesome director, Erin Morse, and put in my application to foster him.  I was approved pretty quick, and got to pick up my new project the next day (Sunday, April 15).  When I first got him, I was shocked at his appearance...the shelter said he was about 3 months old, but after Erin and her vet examined him, they determined he was closer to 5 months old as he had lost most of his baby teeth.  He weighed 14.2 pounds...at 5 months old...he was skin and bones and he had patches of hair missing from having fleas.   This little guy was a total mess!  He also had a touch of kennel cough, which is very common in dogs from shelter environments.  I learned that my little Ollie had been through SO much in his short life.  He had been seized by animal control due to cruelty and neglect.  He had to be held at the shelter as "evidence" and was even smaller when he first came in.  Even with all that he'd been through, he was such a happy dog.  I was so excited to bring him in to my home and get him fattened up and ready for his forever home.

Play time!

I got Ollie back to the house and introduced Tucker to his new foster brother.  They were immediately smitten with each other and began playing. Tucker is the best foster brother and knows just how to play with each dog.  He seems to know just what each one needs.  They played for a while, napped, played some more, and napped again.  Ollie was settling in perfectly.  Later that night, Erin called and told me KC Pet Project had puppies break with Parvo.  My heart sank. This little guy's immune system was already compromised and I knew if he got Parvo, he probably wouldn't make it.  She thought that between the vaccines he got at the shelter and the fact that he'd been out a few days before the Parvo came in, he would likely be fine, but to keep an eye on him.  

Cuddling with a sick pup...

Foster mama, I don't feel good... :(

That night his coughing got worse, and he didn't want to eat much.  I chalked it up to being in a new home and an afternoon of playing.  All he wanted to do was lay on me and sleep.  While I absolutely LOVED this cuddle time, I was starting to worry more and more.  He slept on my chest that night.  His breathing was very labored and he couldn't seem to get comfortable.  I stayed awake for most of the night, as I was terrified he would take his last breath.  I was prepared to rush him to the ER vet at any moment.  We made it through the night, but he was worse the next morning (Monday).  I called Erin and rushed him to her house...I really thought at any moment he would just quit breathing on me...and I would have killed my foster dog!  I got him there and she took a look...We were both thinking Parvo...she tried to get him to eat some wet food...he gulped it up!  Big sigh of relief, as that is the best way to "test" for Parvo.  She decided it was most likely just a REALLY bad case of kennel cough.  She gave him a steroid shot, an antibiotic shot, and we continued on with our treatment plan.  I got him home and was completely devastated to have to leave him.  Luckily Billy was able to go home early and keep an eye on him...he said Ollie seemed to be doing a little better, but still didn't wasn't the puppy I'd brought home.  He was eating a little bit of wet food here and there, and would drink pedialyte.  Tucker was SO great during all of this.  He would curl up next to Ollie and sleep with him...I was hoping Ollie would finally start to turn the corner...but that night he got even worse.
Tuesday morning came, and he wouldn't even move.  I had to pick him up to take him outside to do his business, pick him up to come inside.  I had no choice but to take him to the vet.  I had to wait until 8 am, when they opened....the clock was moving slow as molasses!  Ollie and I cuddled on the couch until it was time to go.  I was, again, so scared at what the vet would tell me.  It was my first time at Independence Animal Hospital, and they were SO nice to us.  Dr. Wingert could sense how scared I was and reassured me I was doing everything right.  He did the exam, ruled out Parvo for sure, and decided that he most likely had one of the worst cases of Kennel Cough he'd ever seen, and a touch of pneumonia.  Dr. Wingert gave Ollie another steroid shot, another antibiotic shot, upped the antibiotics Ollie was currently taking, and started us on another antibiotic.  I got Ollie home and settled in his kennel, and finally felt like we were on our way to a healthy pup...
Billy went home early again and sent me a video of Ollie and Tucker playing in the back yard.  My little miracle pup was on the mend!  We still needed to keep him fairly calm so he could get to 100%, but we were FINALLY out of the woods!  Over the next couple weeks, Ollie really came out of his shell and started to put on weight.  His little ribs and butt bones were starting to disappear under his skin and his hair was filling in.  Tucker and Ollie would race all over the house together.  

I was already in love...and so was Tucker.  I kept telling myself that I couldn't keep him...that he deserved a loving home of his own...that fostering would change forever if I kept him.  I was dragging out getting his neuter done...he needed to gain weight, he was still coughing...any excuse to keep him with me longer.  I was working on preparing myself to put him up for adoption when I had a request to do a home visit for an out of state rescue.  The director of that rescue needed to know how the kids were around dogs and what I thought of the home/family.  I decided to take Ollie with me.  Ollie did GREAT.  The kids fell in love with him.  The parents wanted to know if they could adopt him.  I was so not prepared for that!  They had applied for a dog from Nebraska!  They couldn't adopt my Ollie Pup!  I quickly said, "Um, well, he's not quite ready for adoption yet...he is still working on getting healthy and needs to be neutered."  The mom asked that I keep her updated on when he was available.  YIKES.  I cried the whole way home.  I couldn't imagine parting with my miracle pup!  Ollie licked my face as if to say, "it's okay mama, I already know I'm home...you're just now realizing it!"  It became CRYSTAL CLEAR that day that Ollie wasn't going anywhere.
Erin asked if I was ready to put him up for adoption and schedule his neuter...I told her yes on the neuter, and absolutely not on the adoption!  This little boy was home...we had been through so much together.  Tucker showed me a completely different side of himself with Ollie...he was great with all our other fosters, but with Ollie he was on another level.  Tucker knew that Ollie was meant to be his little brother.  They both knew Ollie was home long before I did.  On April 30th, it was official....Ollie was ADOPTED!  I finalized the paperwork a couple days later.
Ollie has been such a wonderful addition to our family.  He's such a sweet dog and is attached to my hip when I'm home.  He was by my side through my recent break up.  He would rather be cuddled up with me than anywhere else.  I couldn't have dreamed up a better little brother for my Tucker Boy.  We're a little family of three now, and I couldn't be happier.  Those two pups are my world.  Ollie is almost a year old and you would never know he was once a neglected little 14 pound pup.  He's almost as big as his big brother and still growing more and more each day.  
Ollie has taken after his big brother is so many ways, but I'm most proud of the foster brother he's become.  He welcomes dogs in and LOVES to have new playmates.  He's on the submissive side, while Tucker, can at times, be territorial.  Right now, we aren't taking in any fosters, as we had to move in with Grandma & Grandpa for a little bit...but once we're in a house of our own, the Wagner Foster Home will be back open for business!  Here's some of Ollie (and Tucker's) former foster siblings...

Dottie and Ollie snoozing after playtime

Lola (Ollie's "girlfriend") and Ollie waiting for a treat

Barley, Tucker, and Ollie wanting in.

People are often scared to foster because they're scared they will "fail".  Truth be told, I could have failed with any of them...especially Riley.  Because Riley was my first, I made myself give her up.  But looking back, I know that was the right thing to do.  Had Ollie been my first, there is no doubt I would have failed.  Ollie was meant to be in my and Tucker's life forever.  You will know if they're meant to be with you or not.  They will know long before you do...but what's meant to be will be...and Ollie is living proof of that.

Mama and her babies...

Tired after the dog park!

Nap time after a play date

You don't have to go to work, Mama!  Stay with us!